Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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