nut hugger
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My ATM looks so different sober.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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