ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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