Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
where are my eyebrows?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
