wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
