I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
