Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
