i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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