Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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