just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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