He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
