Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
