Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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