thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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