just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
