I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
