Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
