i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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