just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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