i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
