Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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