That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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