he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
