so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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