sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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