I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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