all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
