Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
