Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He kissed a someone with a penis
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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