I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
