She's JV to your varsity
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
