Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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