Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
