she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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