The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
no, he came in my armpit
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
