Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
