i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
