I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
