they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
