i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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