dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wish i was in the wii world.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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