Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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