summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
