i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
