did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
