if you like me you must not know who I am
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
