we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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