Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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