I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
