my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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