new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
