The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
